i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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