If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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