:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
