Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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