i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
