There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
