??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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