there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
