is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
