she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
