so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
