i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
