What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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