You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
