Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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