Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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