Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
