If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
