Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
