This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize