plz talk dirty to me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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