I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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