Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
