"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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