there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize