i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
