I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sobbing to NWA
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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