Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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