Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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