Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
