Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
