i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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