This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
