after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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