and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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