my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
