we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
