sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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