I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
