we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
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All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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