I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
