it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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