I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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