I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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