I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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