His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.