Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe