My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are we still banned from the library?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?