Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
