go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
