They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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