I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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