where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?