Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

Fav 20 1180 2907
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.

Fav 52 1170 4601
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends

Fav 35 1806 4897
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt

Fav 12 3426 1110
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..

Fav 5 3168 1795
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.

Fav 7 2155 1209
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.

Fav 2 2104 867
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.

Fav 2 426 907
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok

Fav 0 50 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT