is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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