Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
