this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
