She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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