Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
